SUCC 5th XI v Freshers XI on Sat 05 May 2018 at 13:00
SUCC Lost 2 Wickets

Match report Arriving at the luscious fields of the always impressing Wide Lane, with the sweltering heat and wide brims poised at the ready, all was looking optimistic for an incredibly short while. Upon getting to the pitch, however, things quickly took a turn for the worse. An organisational kerfuffle saw us turn up without actually having booked a pitch (Newitt and Arv’s names were being brought up for this), and the groundsmen had cancelled the four other games that were meant to actually be being played. An inconvenient start indeed. The glint of anticipation in the eyes of the assemblage of fresher debutants faded as they witnessed their first chance of SUCC cricket dwindle before them. The first farcical event of a very farcical afternoon. Alas, hope was promptly restored, if even momentarily, as the groundsmen found a pitch we could use. As it turned out his use of the term ‘pitch’ was as loose as Katie Price’s overworked nether region. Going in with borderline no expectations we were still somehow disappointed with an absolute sponge of a wicket with an outfield thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. In all fairness, given the debacle of the circumstances all credit must go to the groundsmen for allowing us to get any sort of game underway.
An uncontested toss was enforced with the seniors electing to bat first, and Stanners decided to open up with the very dubious partnership of Beermat and myself. Less surprisingly the partnership lasted all of 1 run with Beermat being the first man to fall. Spinks the next man in added a few more runs before succumbing LBW to an absolute peach of a delivery that managed to roll along the latter half of the track. Channelling my inner Trott, a marathon innings saw me glide to twenty at a strike rate that must have been perilously close to single figures. A third wicket partnership of just over fifty saw Stanners unsurprisingly offer the best batting display of the day. After valiantly wasting a good two thirds of the innings, a futile attempt to pick up the pace with a quick single saw my demise with a run out. Stanners continued to raise the pace with a 62 consisting of three sixes which was some feat considering the conditions. Overs passed, wickets kept falling and very few runs were made, chunks of the pitch were being taken out every time a ball was delivered and nothing could squeeze through the such a dense outfield. Cloughy got bowled for a second ball duck off Mahesh who got a couple wickets to his name. It’s a bit of an understatement to say the pitch was paying off for the spinners, and luckily for the freshers team they had about six of them. No clearer was this to be seen than Bantock’s dismissal, with the ball heading miles down leg before ragging back across to take the base of his off stump. All in all a pretty dire effort saw the seniors reach 110 off, declaring with a few balls left of the 30 overs.
Maccies at the interval was another experience itself. Marcus’ tasking order was documented on DJ Steve’s GoPro and can be witnessed on the group Facebook page. A debacle of an order from Steve consisted of “large oasis no ice, chicken mayo and a double cheeseburger no gherkins.” Red mist clouded DJ Steve’s eyes at the realisation that the incompetent Maccies employee ignored his request and plagued his long awaited Oasis with ice. After vocalising his utter disgust in outlandish outrage he seemed to cool off as his ice melted almost instantaneously in the heat.
Back to the cricket then and chasing 111 to win the freshers got off to a much faster start than the seniors which wasn’t particularly hard. An early start to what became hours of dubious trigger happy umpiring saw Steve given LBW, only to be recalled immediately by Stanners for wrongful dismissal. Harshil also decided to come dressed as an umpire with his black trousers, can’t fault his commitment to the role. Spinks took out off stump with his first career delivery and doubled up his tally later in the innings. Highlight of the match was arguably fresher Sushil giving Marcus a harsh warning for stepping on the pitch. Ash and Skanda also made solid contributions with the bat, the former heroically diving for a quick two and failing to reach the crease on first attempt, but shuffled across in time. Bantock had to be taken off bowling duties as the boggy ground buggered up his knee and ended with him keeping. Run outs for Beermat and myself as well as some decent bowling from across the board took a few more freshers out but ultimately it wasn’t enough. Aside from the questionable scoring, accuracy of overs bowled and an inability to update the scoreboard the freshers took the win in the final over, finishing with extras as their top scorer. In hindsight deciding to field a man short was always going to be a struggle.
Apologies for the length but there was a lot to fit in. Man of the match went to Stanners and Ash for their batting performances, and to the groundsmen for allowing us to play. Dick of the day went to DJ Steve, not only for the most rogue McDonald’s order I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing, but also for taking the time to vlog it on his GoPro.
Strike rates don’t count in fantasy,
Fortuna x

SUCC 5th XI Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
4nb 7w 2b  
for 8 wickets

(29.0 overs)
Benjamin Cook Bowled  1
Harry Fortuna Run out  20
Michael Spink Lbw  12
Alex Stansfield Bowled  62
Marcus Collier-Wright Caught  0
XY XY Bowled  3
Alex Clough Bowled  0
James Bantock Bowled  1
George Newitt Not Out  3

Freshers XI Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy

Freshers XI Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
6nb 24w 6b 2lb 
for 8 wickets
114 (29.0 overs)
Steve b  M.Spink 7
Sushil b  J.Bantock 1
Pas lbw  M.Spink 12
Skanda run out  (B.Cook) 13
Dan lbw  A.Stansfield 7
Shasvat run out  (H.Fortuna) 2
Ash b  A.Stansfield 16
Harshil b  A.Clough 0
Mahesh Not Out  9
  Not Out  10

SUCC 5th XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
James Bantock3.0114114.004.67
Alex Clough6.0019119.003.17
Michael Spink6.011628.002.67
George Newitt1.00700.007.00
Marcus Collier-Wright5.001500.003.00
Benjamin Cook2.001300.006.50
Alex Stansfield5.00723.501.40
Harry Fortuna1.00700.007.00