University of Southampton 3rd XI v SUCC 4th XI on Wed 09 May 2018 at 12:30
SUCC Lost By 234 Runs

Match report A quizzical look dawned on Binns’ face as he entered the 4s changing room, seeing that the rest of the team had brought their whites along with them. Apparently convinced that we were wearing colours Binns’ day got off to a suspect start, and only went downhill from here. To say that Binns was the only one to have a bad day though would be incredibly misleading, for what you’re about to read will be fabled and echoed throughout village folklore until the end of days.
The 4s, taking on the 3s, were pretty pessimistic having seen the line-ups, but things went from bad to worse as Groves hadn’t checked if Huw Morris had said he was actually available, with the miscommunication seeing Beermat pick up the phone and rush to the lane. The hero we needed, not the one we deserved. Heading out there was expected disapproval of your typical soft and slow Wide Lane pitch, but much more shockingly Binns had decided that Scott’s loaned whites weren’t to his liking, so black trackies it was.
Groves won the toss and chose to field to hopefully drag the day out longer than a couple hours. I think the first instance of regret came before a legal ball was bowled, with opener fresher Vocal Chords delivering three successive no balls to start the innings before being taken out of the attack. Career best figures of 0-0-7-0. Still not enough for dick of the day. At the other end Binns managed to successfully get through his first over, but history repeating itself saw another couple of beamers and both of the 4s opening bowlers taken out of the attack. Lane and Scott struggled to get the runs flowing at the start, with Cheese bowling through his ten overs for 16 runs, no wickets. After 20 overs Emmott tried to give the batsmen a kick up the arse and it worked until a trigger happy, and most likely bored, umpire removed Scott for a dodgy LBW off Jessop’s bowling. Lane then connected with one off my own bowling but was unfortunate to see it smack straight into Smiths at long on, bringing Tom Hills to the crease. Fearful of my palpable pace and unquestionable nippiness, Tom shied away from a few, masquerading it as ‘respect’, but soon saw his bails flying when Woody took his first of the afternoon. Emmott started finding the boundary and made it to 63, but the real star of the show was Beermat’s inspired choice of fantasy captain. In Van Gerwen-esque style, Woody was darting them in for fun. The Welsh Murali was born to play at Wide Lane and before long had a 5for, including the scalps of Newitt, Kellingley and Stanners. The jug ball saw Smally dance down the wicket and take a rogue swipe before turning back to see his bails nestle on the sacred Wide Lane ground. Groves also took his first Bucks wicket two balls after I shoed one. Perhaps most importantly of all, Clough got his first Bucks runs. As good as this is making the bowling sound, the 3s reached 277 but not before Jessop became the third man to be taken off for bowling two dangerous no balls. For the second time in as many match reports, it must be said that the winning team’s highest scorer was extras, coming in at an inexcusable 64.
A 6/10 tea did the job, if unspectacularly, but what was of more concern was the fact the 4s had to now go and attempt to hold a bat chasing the highest ever score at Wide Lane.
Opening up with Smiths and Gates it wasn’t a surprise to see the 4s a man down in early on. Smiths bowled by Bantock was the first victim in what would become one of the most abysmal run chases of modern times. Baskar came in, barbecued by Gates before facing a ball, taking his stats to one ball faced with 2 ducks for the season. Groves came in and spooned one to Skanda, who took three catches in all, before taking Dan Gates himself. Woody then failed to back up his self-awarded title of genuine all-rounder, and Beermat also fell before the 4s made twenty. Bantock with four wickets to his name at this point had one ball to complete his 5fer with Binns on strike. Binns continuing his lovely afternoon spooned one straight to Skanda as well, leaving Bantock on a hattrick ball for the start of his next over. However, nursing an injury Bantock felt five was enough and didn’t bowl again. Jessop top scored for the 4s with a respectable 20+, and vocal chords got joint second top score of 5 along with penalty runs for the ball hitting Smally’s discarded lid. All in all a pretty embarrassing chase saw the 4s bowled out for 43, over twenty runs shy of our own bowling and over 200 short of the 3s total. However, I think it’s fair to say that the real loser was cricket.
Man of the match went to Woody for the 4s for showing us all how to bowl at Wide Lane, and Bantock for the 3s for the exact same reason. Dick of the day for the 3s was never in doubt with Scott receiving it for whining about his wicket and then whining about being nominated for DOD. Dick of the day for the 4s shockingly went to Binns for the kit debacle, bowling fiasco, getting 2 shoes, letting a four go because he was in the position for the wrong over, not paying his match fee, going home before everyone even made it back to the changing rooms, and leaving his helmet in at Wide Lane. I think that’s everything.
Hills is averaging 4.5,
Fortuna x

University of Southampton 3rd XI Batting
Player name RunsMB4s6sSR
16nb 39w 6b 2lb 
for 10 wickets
277 (49.3 overs)
A.Lane ct  H.Fortuna 43 5
S.Taskis lbw  A.Jessup 40 7
C.Emmott ct  A.Woodman 63 8 1
T.Hills b  A.Woodman 8
G.Newitt b  A.Woodman 33 5 1
G.Kellingley lbw  A.Woodman 0
A.Stansfield b  A.Jessup 5
M.Smalley-Harris b  A.Woodman 3
S.Vasanthan ct  H.Groves 11 2
J.Bantock Not Out  0
A.Clough Stumped  8 1

SUCC 4th XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Henry Groves6.3025212.503.85
XY XY1.301200.008.00
Tom Marquiss10.051600.001.60
Baskar Ramsundhar3.201900.005.70
Alex Jessup7.4151225.506.65
Harry Fortuna7.0048148.006.86
Alex Woodman10.0061512.206.10
Benjamin Cook3.002700.009.00

SUCC 4th XI Batting
Player Name RMB4s6sSRCatchesStumpingsRun outs
for 10 wickets

(17.4 overs)
Greig Kelly b  J.Bantock 2 1
Daniel Gates b  S.Vasanthan 3
Baskar Ramsundhar run out  (J.Bantock) 0
Henry Groves ct  J.Bantock 1
Alex Jessup Not Out  21
Alex Woodman ct  J.Bantock 0
Benjamin Cook ct  J.Bantock 0
XY XY ct  J.Bantock 0
Harry Fortuna b  A.Clough 0
Cameron Lamming b  S.Vasanthan 5
Tom Marquiss b  A.Stansfield 0

University of Southampton 3rd XI Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy