SUCC 5th XI v Alumni Day on Sat 29 Apr 2017 at 13:00
SUCC Won By 2 Wickets

Match report After last year’s farcical events involving the alumni imposter XI, normality was resumed this year as the self-proclaimed platinum generation made their way down to Wide Lane for a day of cricket, boozing, and gribble.
The pre-match news was that the alumni were going to be 4 players short after Farrant (shock) and Perret (shock) had dropped out of the team. Drafted in as replacements were fresher Woodman, an injured Fish, and myself (presumably for my excellent knowledge of our opponents, the 5s).
The boozing was well and truly underway even before the alumni decided to have a bat first, and immediately a game of shot roulette was introduced. Captain Royals and CJ padded up first, Royals displaying a textbook charge-and-leave, while CJ was hit in the chest attempting to reverse sweep a full toss. The batsmen soon found their rhythm, with an expert display of Wide Lane batting, and started motoring towards 50s. This was assisted by a couple of on-field shoes from serial sheller Stanners, while North and Cheese also saw off cans for their inability to catch.
The tide of the match was turned by the introduction of Sanjay, whose medium pace gribble was often unplayable on a typical wide lane wicket. He accounted for both CJ and Warner in the space of an over, both well held in the deep by Alind and Ankur. This prompted a mini-collapse as Coates got out twice in three balls and Gareth lolipopped a return catch to Ankur. With Royals retiring after reaching 50, Bantock and Marky Mark took to the crease, and both returned to the pavilion shortly after. Myself and fresher Alex then put on a useful little partnership before I was bowled by one which kept low, bringing in Fish as last man. Despite being injured, he smacked his way to a very painful 24, while Alex blasted a stunning straight six. The alumni finished on a very defendable 188 from their 30 overs.
As the 5s innings got underway, it was clear that the amount of beer consumed was taking effect. Bantock and Mitchell opened up with Bantock dismissing Angus and Kwalec for low scores. He was then removed from the attack after bowling a head-high full toss. Fresher Alex, bowling in a helmet and running in from the boundary, managed to pick up the wicket of Naylor. Warner also found some success, having North smartly caught by CJ at cover, accompanied by a huge send off from Marky Mitchell. “Cheeriooo, Cheeriooo” (Mitchell, 2017). However, the other bowlers did not seem happy with the state of the pitch and made various attempts to doctor it, especially CJ, who urinated on a length.
At this point, a severely boozed Nielsen was at the crease, and he somehow swung his was to a retirement at 50. This was helped by the fact that none of the Alumni fancied chasing after any ball, allowing the batsmen to run 5s and 6s. Meanwhile, Sanjay and Stanners departed for single figures. The boozing had reached the point now where on multiple deliveries, the keeper and slips cordon were all sat down as the ball was being delivered. The farce continued to escalate as CJ decided to urinate at the end of his run up. Gareth, after two on-field shoes, was now completely inebriated, as evidenced when Ankur and Alind came together at the crease. “Let’s get tight here boys, Asians only take singles!” (Racist Gareth, 2017). I took Ankur’s wicket with a very questionable LBW, while Cheese was the victim of a ridiculous runout. Alind on the other hand decided to prove Gareth wrong, seeing the 5s home in the last over with a quickfire 43.
A fantastic communal shower was had after the game, followed by a great gribble at the Drummond, despite us being harassed by some racist benefit scroungers. An excellent circle in clowns harkened back to the glory days of the club, as did the end-of-night meal in Manzils, although we all had to face the uncomfortable truth of how our meals were really prepared (out of the freezer, into the microwave). In the end, however, a good day was had by all.

MOM: Royals, Alind
DOD: CJ, North


Alumni Day Batting
Player name RunsMB4s6sSR
for 8 wickets
188 (30.0 overs)
C. Jones ct  Alind, B. Kundu 46 3 3
C. Royals Retired Not Out  50 2 2
M. Warner ct  Alind, B. Kundu 6 1
J. Coates b  Sharma 2
G. King ct  & B. Sharma 5 1
M. Mitchell ct  Marquiss B Neilson. 6
J. Bantock ct  Marquiss B. Nielson 2
M.C.W b  Sharma 8
A. Woodman ct  Alind. B Stansfeld 10 1
J. Fish Not Out  24 3 1

SUCC 5th XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Alex Stansfield5.0031131.006.20
Alind Roperia4.002700.006.75
Ankur Sharma6.0038312.676.33
Sanjay Kundu3.0021210.507.00
Tom Marquiss5.001900.003.80
Charlie Nielson4.00924.502.25
Sam Clough2.002100.0010.50

SUCC 5th XI Batting
Player Name RMB4s6sSRCatchesStumpingsRun outs
for 8 wickets

(29.2 overs)
Angus Lawrence b  Bantock 0
Pete Naylor b  Woodman 8 1
Alec Thompson b  Bantock 2
Sam Clough ct  CJ B. Mitchell 17 2
Charlie Nielson Retired Not Out  50 2 3
Sanjay Kundu lbw  King 5
Alex Stansfield b  Royals 9 1
Ankur Sharma lbw  M.C.W 8 1
Alind Roperia Not Out  43 8 1 3
Tom Marquiss run out  Warner 5 1 2
Angus Lawrence Not Out  2

Alumni Day Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
J. Bantock3.00924.503.00
M. Mitchell4.0031131.007.75
A. Woodman2.00919.004.50
J. Fish2.00800.004.00
G. King2.0021121.0010.50
M. Warner3.201700.005.10
C. Royals5.0022122.004.40
C. Jones4.003200.008.00
J. Coates1.001500.0015.00