SUCC 3rd XI v Southampton uni IV on Wed 20 May 2015 at 12:30
SUCC Won By 53 runs

Match report The 3s and 4s met for the first of their two derby games of the season on Wednesday, with North’s 4’s hoping to emulate a similar victory to their famous win over Coatsey’s side last year. Prematch talk in the 3s was centred around the yippers in the side, with Heaney, Kiteman, Royals and Nielson identified of men of steady mind and character; a mixed shout on this matches evidence. The 3s eyed up the 4s warm up, taking comfort in watching Wooding smashing the ball back at unfortunate men.
Kiteman, having won the toss, headed out to the middle with Alec in toe, with the intention of putting a big score on the board. Angus opened up for the 4s, and wasn’t making any friends in the 3s when he had the Kiteman gloving through to North second ball of the game. In extraordinary scenes, a flying pig was spotted over Wide Lane as Welly Wooding took a sharp catch in the slips off Watts to get for 6. Angus, minus Bjorn Borg style lid, bowled a terrific opening 8 overs for 10 and picking up another wicket. At the other end Foster had come on and picked up a wicket. Beno had looked good for 11 and Kumo had looked languid for 8 before they were both bowled. North’s tactical changes, often barked loudly at him to deliver to the team by Wooding, seemed to be working and the 3s were in an England-esque spot of bother at 36-4.
Friendy and Nielsen began the repair job, and were making excellent work of it. Nielsen started to look really good, timing the ball excellently, particularly when he nailed one straight to North behind the stumps. A quick step back and play with the bat was all that was needed to convince the umpire and half the 4s side that he had clipped his bat, wafting away from his body. The confidence exuberated in the young man’s stance would have fooled many an ICC umpire, and was certainly too good for Woody and North behind the sticks, ‘he would have walked’ they said. Can you yip walking? Wooding then suffered a seizure event-level form of yips as he bowled 3 beamers in an over, following it up 2 overs later with 2 no balls for double bouncers. ‘The problem with facing Woody is you don’t know what kind of shit he’s going to bowl at you, and you always know he’ll bowl you one jaffa’ (Royals, 2015). True to this, Wooding bowled Friendy round his legs for 14, truly farcical scenes. In the midst of this, debutant for the 4s Sam Holland shelled a dolly at cover to send Nielson off the bowling of Wooding. Nielson did eventually fall off the bowling of Marky Mark, caught North (standing back with a lid), the people’s champion easily out bowling the pantomime villain he replaced at the non-crumb end.
The England game was earlier mentioned, and the similarities continued a lower middle order fightback led by Royals, who celebrated finishing university with a typically gribbley 37* off 83 balls. Marky Mark was genuinely unplayable at times with the Wide Lane pitch doing all sorts, neck muscles spasming at will. I fell cheaply, sending up a skier having slapped a peach of a pull shot away for 4, although caught I feel the book should probably say talked out and let North have his first wicket of the season. A shoe had preceded that, Saad closer to an international call up then to the skier he had to move 2 meters for. Preetham came in with strict instructions from Royals to play sensibly with only 115 on the board, however when Perrett was trudging out to the middle at 10 just a few minutes later the general saw red. Perrettt was informed in no uncertain terms that Royals’ short handle would be forcibly inserted into his anus should he follow his teammates example. Here Marky finished a superb spell of right arm gribble of 3-22, with intimidating chat to match. Fortunately for him his 5 off 14 allowed his bodily functions a bit of respite, along with his pride as he was spared by Royals. Perrett threw his helmet in what some onlookers called a fit of rage as he left the field. With a vital knock from Bantock, slapping 27 off 31, the first man known to shotgun 11 in a match vs the 4s, the 3s ended up on 193-9, which looked like a winning score on the deck and given the 4s previous efforts with the bat in hand. Ed and Kieran picking up the last couple of wickets.
A very decent tea was enjoyed, an elitist corner of mixed players forming around one table, thanks to Roy and the absent Greg Greg Wise. It should be noted Greg was reprimanded by the ever vigilant Roy for attempting to use the same knife for butter and mayonnaise. Roy looked to carry this vigilance out to the middle with Woody. Preetham opened up with the trundling tank engine Friendy and bowled very tidily. Wooding’s wrists were looking limper and weaker than North’s after a ¾ as he diligently blocked out dot after dot until he finally snicked off Preetham to Heaney at 2nd slip, moved there 2 balls earlier by the Kiteman. With Friendy struggling with a back problem, and struggling to make it to the crease by the 5th ball of the over, I was introduced and was genuinely making it look like a dusty track in Mumbai. Preetham kindly made sure Alvin the lefty was at the other end for me to bowl to every over by giving him a single whenever he was on strike off his legs. Alvin eventually holed out, having at once stage looking like he might need a tennis racket to get something on it, well held by Royals as Friendy charged towards him, much to the dismay of Heaney. Kumo once more looking on with little interest a couple of meters away.
Roy was now joined by the skip. However Roy fell to a long hop from Perrett for a decent 30. North and Angus kept the score board ticking along and at points did start to look in the game. Angus however fell to part timer and serial wider Beno for 5. North continued to look on the edge of getting out whilst still scoring runs and made a captain’s knock of 36, being fortunately not run out and dropped by Heaney, a difficult chance at mid wicket, off Beno’s bolwing. Eventually he fell to Heaney, with a decent take from Alec off a little nick (he walked, there are some good blokes in Wessex). This off the back off Heaney being wided off a 6th stump ball, much to his animated annoyance. Heaney then took it upon himself to bounce the tail out, and along with Kumo (2-12) rattled through the tail, with former bread and butter Intermural star Heaney picking up 5-39. The 4s falling to 140 all out. A slight smile was spotted on one Andrew Wooding’s face as the players shook hands #fantasypoints.
The chaps headed to Gordon’s, where Nielsen spent all his worldly funds on 4 pints of IPA and Royals offered odds of 2000/1 for him to go on tour next year. 3s DOD was Perrett for a wide ranging catalogue of offences, including his helmet thrown and questionable running style. MOM was Heaney for a first BUCS 5fer. Shoes for Friendy, Heaney, Preetham and Kightley.

SUCC 3rd XI Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
7nb 35w 7b 3lb 
for 9 wickets

(5.0 overs)
Sam Kightley Caught  0 2 0 1
Alec Thompson Caught  6 16 37.50 1 1
kumo sharma Bowled  8 29 27.59
XY XY Bowled  11 21 52.38 2
Charlie Nielson Caught  27 33 81.82
Daniel Friend Bowled  14 31 45.16
Chris Royals Not Out  37 83 2 1 44.58 2
Alex Heaney Caught  7 13 1 53.85
Preetham Tamerisa Caught  1 4 25.00
Jon Perrett Caught  5 14 35.71
James Bantock Not Out  27 31 4 87.10

Southampton uni IV Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Southampton uni IV Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
2nb 21w 2b 5lb 
for 10 wickets
140 (4.5 overs)

SUCC 3rd XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Preetham Tamerisa10.0416116.001.60
Daniel Friend4.02200.000.50
Alex Heaney10.013957.803.90
Chris Royals10.022600.002.60
Jon Perrett6.0027127.004.50
XY XY3.00919.003.00
kumo sharma3.301226.003.43