SUCC 1st XI v Portsmouth I on Wed 13 May 2015 at 11:00
SUCC Won by 80 runs

Match report On the day that veteran club leg spinner Andrew Wooding took his first BUCS wicket it was going to take something special to knock that off the back pages but the 1st XI obliged with a barnstorming win over the old enemy from the wrong end of the M27, running out victors by some 80 runs after an enthralling contest.

The early start and a green tinged wicket meant that there was some disagreement in the camp as to what to do if skipper Baker won the toss, though this proved to be a moot point as Pompey won and stuck us in. The 'senior pros' were, however, unanimous in agreeing that 250 was the score to aim for on a decent track with one very small boundary.
How stupid this looked after 10 overs as Pompey's decent openers tore through a strong Wessex top order. Nichols was the first to go to the seaming ball but was followed in quick succession by Murtagh (good nut), Calcott ("that was a disgrace" (Royals, 2015) "what was he thinking?" (Nichols, 2015) "oh my" (Langley Manor CC Barman, 2015)), Wilson (great nut), Fish (...) and BBPT (missed a straight one). This left the home side in the somewhat precarious position of 32-6 with Pompey understandably quite literally losing their shit on the hallowed turf of Knellers Lane. The mood of the side was raised by the arrival of Coach Max, who probably felt that he'd made a mistake turning up to watch yet another SUCC farce but instead he was treated to a display of true grit from two of the club's plethora of bowling all rounders as Warner and Nielson recovered the innings in quite spectacular fashion. The dangerous openers were seen off and the change bowling, particularly a very slow leggie seemingly aiming to hit the moon with each delivery, was tucked into with aplomb in a stunning match winning partnership of 130. Sadly all good things must come to an end and the partnership was broken when Nielson spooned a half tracker to short fine leg for 45.
In came CC Royals, with strict instructions to put Warner on strike nurdling singles and promptly dispatched his first ball back over the bowler's head before running out Warner for 80 soon after. Calling the in form man back for a second due to a misinterpretation of the word "buzzers", realising that the ball was in the fielder's hand all too late, life flashed before your humble correspondent's eyes. Thoughts of a certain DoD, the grim reality of an early necked pint in Gordons, the fantasy league implications, the eternal shame of denying Warner a possible BUCS hundred and the realisation that Prem was now the next man in were at the forefront of the mind and even a decent partnership with Telkman could not dislodge them. Wessex finished on a quite remarkable 215-8 and a shell-shocked Pompey side remained out in the middle for quite some time after tea was called, trying to work out how things had just gone quite so wrong for them.
Tea, provided by Jake and his glamourous assistants (see figure 1), was rated as a 6 with quantity and cheese and pickle sandwiches lacking. Tuna sandwiches, yet again, proved to be a non-event.
And so Ben Baker's merry men took to the field after a team photo, aiming to wrap up a quite superb victory. Leading the charge were the run machines Warner and Nielson and success was almost instant as Nielson picked up one with the final ball of the second over. The side went nuts and mobbed the great man, only to see him roll his ankle in the over-exuberant celebration, leaving us with 10 men for the rest of the match and forcing Joe into the attack earlier than anticipated. Warner returned to his pre-shagging metronomic ways, picking up a couple and leaving Pompey quite a bit to do. There was, for quite a while, a period where Pompey looked well in the game, with their dangerous number 5 receiving useful support but they received a thorough working over from the pair of left arm spinners, Prem and Telks, which saw 4 middle order wickets fall and the run rate climb. Chris "I'm the Stuart MacGill of SUCC" Royals entered the attack and began to clean up what remained of Pompey's resistance, aided by a quite superb grab at first slip by club veteran and student hater Ed Nichols. Pompey's tail did not wag and by 4pm it was clear that Wessex were going to pull off a victory that looked impossible at 11:45 by a quite considerable margin and the atmosphere in the field was electric as thoughts turned to Baker's much hyped 'winning beers'. The victory was confirmed as Pompey's number 11 played for turn against Royals and the umpire found himself in agreement with 11 screaming men of Wessex that it was more than close enough.

A quite superb derby day victory and a great antidote to the Bristol debacle on Tuesday. Bring on Bournemouth and a trip to Dean Park.

'And we sing fuck off to the poly...'

MoM - Only one real contender - Matt Warner take a bow
DoD - Nielson for rolling his ankle celebrating a wicket. Gribblers do not do that. Honourable mention for Telks bowling a ball to mid wicket. How I didn't get DoD I will never know, possibly the greatest Buckinghamshire escape job since the Great Train Robbery
Shot of the Day - Fred Wilson's on drive. Class.


SUCC 1st XI Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
for 8 wickets

(50.0 overs)
Ed Nichols Caught  1 2 50.0 1
Ollie Calcott Lbw  1 17 5.88
Joe Murtagh Bowled  1 5 20.0 1
Fred Wilson Caught  9
Jake Fish Caught  2 2
Ben Baker Bowled  6 14 1 42.86
Matthew Warner Run out  80 10 1 1
Charlie Nielson Caught  45 6
Chris Royals Not Out  16 2
Mark Telkman Not Out  10
Premal Patel  

Portsmouth I Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Portsmouth I Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
for 10 wickets
135 (38.0 overs)

SUCC 1st XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Matthew Warner7.0122211.003.14
Charlie Nielson1.00616.006.00
Joe Murtagh7.013200.004.57
Premal Patel7.021929.502.71
Mark Telkman10.0134217.003.40
Chris Royals8.012237.332.75