Langley Manor v SUCC 5th XI on Tue 13 May 2014 at 18:00
SUCC Lost by 5 wickets

Match report It promised to be a genuinely enjoyable evening of cricket as the University 5th XI congregated at the genuinely nice Langley Manor CC ground. With exception for the bog that had manifested on the far end of the pitch the 5s were in high spirits with Joony Joony Coates (2014) in particular hoping to “smash it”. An innings was required of the disillusioned 3s captain following the battle of wide lane where Joony Joony Coates suffered “the worst day of his life” (Coates, 2014a; Coates, 2014b; Coates, 2014...). Captain Tom Mills conducted the toss and the 5s were to bat first on the impeccable wicket.

The formidable fours’ skipper who was hoping to “save himself for the big game tomorrow” (Head, 2014) opened the innings with Greg Wise, and got us off to steady start scoring a skilful single off the first over. Wise then sent a sensational shot straight past the bowler for a four. It was an all too promising start until Roy Head tickled one to the Langley keeper. In came SUCC and SUAS legend Marky Mitchell who frustrated Langley’s opening South African superstar bowler with a fortified forward defence and a wonderfully timed edge that almost ran to the boundary for four. Alas, he fell at the hands of the South African, who bowled a slower ball that made a mess of ole Marky’s stumps. Wise, who was clean bowled with the score unmoved on 11, quickly followed him back to the pavilion.

At 11/3 the 5s were in danger of a somewhat embarrassing defeat, until skipper Mills and Wooding came to the crease. A 57-run partnership followed between the two with both hitting some quality boundaries. Mills was eventually caught out for 28, with Wooding being joined by Matt Warner. Andrew Wooding took the charge to the bowlers playing some straight drives that would have gone for boundaries on any other day. However, today the bog left him bruised and battered, resembling somebody that had gone through the worst bleep test of his life more than a batsman. Having slipped and smashed and slipped, Wooding was caught behind with a top knock of 43 “warranting a 2s call-up” (Wooding, 2014a; Wooding, 2014b; Wooding, 2014c). Warner went on to hit a good 22 not out, including a simply beautiful leg glance off a full toss for four. Andy Mac and AJ both quacked trying to run singles in the last over that were not in any way there, which brought to the crease Joony Joony Coates who in his one ball faced, “smashed it” (the ball) with an edge to the boundary to set the Home team a competitive 120 to win.

The 5s opened the bowling with Dharmin “Notification Naik” (Royals, 2014) and AJ, who kept the runs down to a minimum. Dharmin in particular bowled an economical spell that could have ended with the wicket of the opener, however the ones’ wicketkeeper unfortunately dropped a sharp catch in the slips. The opener was eventually run-out by Andy Mac when Chris “The Whale Hunter” Royals came into the attack with the surprise introduction of Joony Joony Coates at the other end. The surprise package paid-off as Coates showed absolute desire to take a great single-handed catch to remove the second Langley opener. A team hat trick was on, however did not happen. The following over, Joony Joony Coates’ catch was made to look simple as Chris “The Whale Hunter” Royals took a sizzling, sumptuous, sensational (and equally sexy (Royals, 2014)) caught and bowled off a smashed straight drive. To which the batsman stood unmoved and shocked.

Chris Royals was in the zone as he went on to take another caught and bowled the very next over. Coates finished a decent spell and it was then the turn of Marky Mitchell to join the game. Mitchell bowled two dots and was then bludgeoned for six the next. However, the wonderful length ball he bowled next was served-up perfectly to AJ at extra cover to send the team into rapturous applause! Marky Mitchell had just gained his first SUCC wicket, which he selflessly put all down to AJ. What a man.

Five down in stepped Wooding, who bowled with tenacity and diversity to slow-down a slowly increasing run rate. Then came the moment that would shock the nation, as the best batsman in the Langley team mishit a sweep high into the beautiful evening sky straight down the throat of a relaxed Coates. Let’s just say the ball was chested down with control rather than caught with ease by Coates, which would have been praised if it were indeed pikeball we were playing and not cricket. So started Wooding’s rampant f-word flinging in the general direction of the cricketing Gods. It was not to be his or the 5s’ day today.

One of Matt Warner’s misplaced yorkers was violated… murdered… bludgeoned over his head and halfway up a conifer by a 58-year old man who didn’t even feel a helmet was necessary to face him. Langley unfortunately thumped Warner for 16 off 1.1 overs, and eased to victory with eight balls to spare.

A great match for the neutral, with lots of positives to take away for all those involved.

MOM: Andrew Wooding for his tremendous knock and the wicket that almost was.

DOD: Matt Warner for something.

Shoes: Tom Mills x 1, Joony Joony Coates x 1.


SUCC 5th XI Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
for 7 wickets

(20.0 overs)
Roy Head Caught  1
Greg Wise Bowled  4
Mark Mitchell Bowled  2
Tom Mills Caught  28 5
Andrew Wooding Caught  43 5
Matthew Warner Not Out  22 2
Andy MacAskill Run out  0 1
Alex Jenden Run out  0 1
Jonathan Coates Not Out  4 1
Chris Royals   2
Dharmin Naik  

Langley Manor Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Langley Manor Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
for 5 wickets
120 (18.1 overs)
  run out  (MacAskill) 19
  ct  & Bowled Coates 10
  ct  & Bowled Royals 6
  Not Out  30
  ct  & Bowled Royals 4
  ct  Jenden b Mitchell 13
  Not Out  16

SUCC 5th XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Dharmin Naik4.001400.003.50
Alex Jenden3.002000.006.67
Jonathan Coates2.0013113.006.50
Chris Royals3.001226.004.00
Mark Mitchell3.0019119.006.33
Andrew Wooding2.001700.008.50
Matthew Warner1.101600.0013.71